Let’s face it. We are in a fear pandemic.
And what does fear do to the human body?
Many Amygdala’s are hijacked*. Rational thinking is dimmed because of it.
Brain capacity is reduced – meaning you can not engage with all the options available because you are ready to
or fight. (even inside family)
How to come back to our full capacity to respond as a human being?
Everyone I know is impacted after 16 months of the prison term “lockdown”.
Some of us run. (into the country to avoid the crowd i.e.)
Others freeze. (if I close my eyes nobody can see me kinda thing)
And some are ready to fight. (viking style or less)
Survival response everywhere.
Have you noticed how you draw back.
How you cringe inside.
And an invisible wall goes up and covers your heart. You might act and feel like “I don’t care”. “I want it to be gone already” The feeling of overwhelm, “to much” to deal with on a daily base.
I encourage you to reach out. To people you think can support or to seek support. Our innate human nature is to connect and grow together. Let’s connect and communicate our needs and love.
It is not easy to stay tuned. To self reflect and stay focused in times like that.
How does that reflect on your personal relationships?
The interesting part for me is comparing the big world to my little world.
When do I find myself in fear response in my relationships?
Do you notice when you are closing down?
Or is it such automatic response that you are not aware being in shut down mode? Awareness is the first step. Are you going in a self declared lockdown of some sort in your relationships at times?
I felt my heart guarded with a big stone wall for the first decades of my life. I could not relate with an open heart.
How much is your heart guarded?
It might be completely ‘normal’ to have your heart guarded and even helpful.
And as with everything in life, where mind goes, energy flows.
Meaning if you keep it guarded and change nothing, your guard will get stronger. And you move further away from opening your heart and allowing that lock of your heart space influence your being.
What does it mean to feel and act from your heart? Let’s look at that in a moment…
Let me say that guarding your heart is a healthy response that has it’s place.
You would not say: I’m going to close my heart, protect myself and pull away from the world and I’m not letting anyone touch me because it feels good.’
There was most likely a wounding that happened and to stop the hurt you “closed that door”. The wound (or trauma) was to much to deal with at the time.
The hurt might have to be felt once more. Only you can choose to release it. You can choose and appreciate all that you are. Your guard has helped you to feel safe thus far. Can you feel safe without that guard?
What if you learn to integrate that hurting part of you?
Friends would recognise you with a more open heart.
Some might not like that new you that is more powerful and authentic.
You deserve real friends who can see you for all that you are.
I think it is ok to part ways with “friends” if the friendship is not based on some shared values.
You will attract new people who can see your open heart.
Curiosity might help on the path….
Pretending the walls are not there is ok. It is an action into adventure. Be aware and learn.
It is natural protecting ourselves from feeling pain.
How present can you be?
Have you had a partner asking you if you can open your heart?
I know it hurts to be confronted like that but I learnt from it and I am still learning.
What if there is a way to stay open and relaxed?
What if there is a way to feel safe and strong with an open heart?
Yes, you can receive love and be safe.
Who would you be if you could open your heart and feel love throughout your day?
Can you imagine the creative energy you would be in and play with?
Step 1: notice …
become aware when your heart closes. Observe your triggers.
Breathe and feel your being when your heart wants to close.
Allow but notice the difference between when your heart is open, and what it feels like when it’s closed.
Your body’s wisdom has a tendency to open once awareness shines some light.
Be present and allow yourself a moment.
Take a breath and feel the experience of staying open.
Feel that trained muscle that wants to close and put the guard up.
Can you relax your inner guard so that you can feel the flow and connection? If this is what you want, then you can learn to “build the muscle”, a different way…notice and choose… you open when you want to.
You can create a safe and loving space for intimacy, for an open heart to receive and be received.
Define your boundaries first:
You must be in a committed relationship. (make it your definition and be responsible)
And you must be willing to change what you do daily. (awareness of your habits)
You can change the results in your life when you change your actions. If that’s you, book a call and lets chat.
I know you are not alone. We all share the path learning more about expressing emotions, living intimacy and balanced relationships.
*An amygdala hijack is an emotional response that is immediate, overwhelming, and out of measure with the actual stimulus because it has triggered a much more significant emotional threat. The term was coined by Daniel Goleman in his 1996 book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.